Moving on
by TheeCritic
Summary: When someone special dies after his bad mistake, Ace just has to move on - AU! modern world...one-shot! Angst!


One-shot

Disclaimer: I really don't own one piece...stop asking...:D

BTW Ace and Luffy aren't brothers in this.

This is a bit angsty..since I have depression and anxiety attacks daily...

**Ace's POV**

* * *

In the kitchen, me and Luffy were standing in the middle of the tiled floor.

He was so warm, so fragile, in my arms.

Leaning on my chest, gazing up at me, and I thought that he looked so cute.

So vulnerable.

I couldn't stand it anymore.

I finally said it.

"Luffy I love you." I kissed his forehead and he smiled brightly at me.

"I love you too."

"Promise me you won't love anyone else but me."

He nodded while clutching my shirt, and looked out of my kitchen window, "I promise."

* * *

Then, after a week, I got a girl friend.

I didn't really like her, but my friends and her friends pushed us together and I had no choice but to accept.

We became the most popular couple in the school.

But I knew Luffy was hurting inside after that promise.

I told him that I didn't love her, and I only loved him.

He said he believed me, but his eyes showed doubt.

* * *

In the library. My girlfriend approached me and she started talking to me. I played along with her, because all of my friends were present.

She said, "You love me right? You really do love me, nobody else?"

"Nobody, nobody at all. You're the only one for me." I said and I leaned in to kiss her.

She giggled, and my friends whistled and laughed.

I smiled, and I knew that I was fitting in with the popular kids.

But my biggest mistake was that I didn't notice that Luffy had been there, listening...and watching.

He was hurting inside, and I didn't know.

* * *

i told him to sleep over at my house that night, and he agreed.

We laid in the same bed, like a married couple, talking about things, and playing little games, but after a while we grew tired and fell asleep.

In a few hours, he had woken me up, and told me that he needed to go out for a fresh breath of air.

I told him that he shouldn't since it was cold, and I pulled him into the bed, laughing and hugging him. He struggled a bit while laughing too, but in the end he finally gave up.

He snuggled into my arms and we both lay in the bed giggling and tickling each other for a while.

I didn't know what he was feeling then. Maybe he was torn apart. He didn't know whether to love me, or to give up on me.

I didn't think it would end up so complicated. I thought we would have a happy ending, but I guess my thinking was a bit too far-fetched.

* * *

At lunch, My girlfriend went up to me again, and she kissed me in front of everyone, and I, once again, played along with her.

I held her waist and planted a deep kiss on her lips.

I did it right in front of Luffy.

Pain twisted in his face, but I pretended not to notice.

I really was a jerk.

A stupid, dense jerk.

Later, He broke down, crying to himself, but I didn't go in to comfort him.

I felt too guilty to go in to make him feel better.

* * *

Then, on that rainy April night, I invited him to sleep over again.

He reluctantly agreed to my offer.

I wish I didn't invite him. It was the biggest mistake of my life. While laying down in the confines of the bedroom, I muttered, "Luffy, Do you love me?"

"Yeah." A small voice murmured from under the covers.

"...good." I said, and I gripped the sheets desperately, whispering softly in the other's ears, "Don't leave me, Luffy"

"I won't." He said, and I rested my head on his chest, listening to his strong heart beat.

Ba-dump Ba-dump Ba-dump

So steady, like the rain that night.

Plop, Plop, Plop

Dripping down, and down the windows of the little house.

Just as I was about to fall asleep, he suddenly pushed my head away, and he said he doesn't want to sleep over anymore.

I was confused, but I agreed to let him go back home.

I offered to drive him home, but he refused. I shrugged, and I got his stuff ready. He didn't look at me.

Not even once.

It was strange.

He always looks at me...Straight at me.

But I didn't say anything, like the idiot I was. I opened the door and I waved as he left.

He left my house.

And He left _me_.

But before he did, he turned and gave a sad smile, "Bye."

There was no- "see you tomorrow", or a happy smile...it was just "bye."

Just "Bye".

My heart. It hurt, it tightened, I couldn't breathe at all. Something was wrong.

Terribly wrong.

The way he looked at me was wrong. It was just so, so, so wrong.

Like he wasn't coming back. Like I wasn't going to see him smile or hear him laugh. Like I wasn't going to hear his heartbeat anymore.

No, No, NO! I didn't want that. He was my life, my light. My shining guiding light, and he might just flicker...in this rain.

This wet, dripping rain.

So I followed him out, and I watched him go out of my house, and walk to the street.

I saw him close his eyes, and breathe steady, deep, breaths...and I was relieved. I was feeling just a bit relieved, to see that he's breathing right. Not fast breaths, but slow steady ones.

But I saw him walking, walking through the street, and I looked at the light.

It was still green.

And his plan finally processed in my mind.

I started to run to him, yelling for him to stop.

He didn't seem to hear me. Didn't hear me yelling, yelling like my life depended on it.

He turned to me and smiled, not a sad smile. A happy bright smile, hoping that it would be etched in my mind.

Hoping that my memory of him would be of him smiling. Not of him dying.

But it didn't work.

When I finally reached him, the car has already come, and the sound of a splat, and of car tires screeching, explodes in my ear, and I was too late.

Too late to save my light.

Because of that, he was flickering.

* * *

I saw red. The street was red. His body was red. His face was red. Everything was red.

I hated red right now. I so desperately hated red.

I ran over to Luffy as the driver responsible came out of his car.

The driver, a middle aged man cames over and leaned to see him, but I push him away.

He didn't deserve to see Luffy...no he didn't deserve to be close to Luffy.

I crouched down to the ground, not caring that my body was soaked, and I grabbed Luffy's hand.

I started to cry, but no one saw, because of the rain that fell on to my face, camouflaging it perfectly.

Luffy held my hand weakly and I clutched them hard.

His hands were cold. Freezing.

I asked, "Why? Why did you do it after you promised that we would be together?"

He looked at me with lifeless eyes while rain sprinkled droplets onto his eyelashes, and at that moment I thought he looked so beautiful.

If only the red wasn't tainting him.

He replied weakly, "Because of...that."

I immediately knew what he means.

Me and my girlfriend...but I was stubborn, even to the last moment. As the jerk who never learned, I said, weakly, "But you can't leave me! The promise..."

He closed his eyes, breathing hard, and he hoarsely said, "But you left me first."

And it hit me.

I left him first...I was the one, who left him first.

It was my damn fault that he was dying.

I started crying loudly, snot coming out of my nostrils unattractively, but I didn't care.

I cupped his blood-covered face, moving the strands of hair matted onto his face, and I look at him, breathing painful, shuddering breaths.

And suddenly, it was only us. There were no cars whizzing past, there wasn't a guilty driver hovering nearby, no distant sounds of police and ambulance cars, and there was no world around us.

We were alone.

The only sounds were his laboring breaths.

And I muttered, "I'm sorry, Luffy." But I knew he didn't hear me anymore, and I knew it didn't do anything anymore.

Sorry didn't cut it.

As it never did.

My crying didn't seem to reach him too.

In fact. i think he was no longer of this world anymore.

And it was all my fault.

All completely my fault.

Nobody else's.

I could no longer push the blame on others. This was completely on me...

And this sin was bearing down in my heart, like chains.

I felt so heavy,

So, very heavy.

And through this stress, I bit my dry lips.

My blood dripped onto my tongue.

But it wasn't only my blood that was dripping.

His blood is dripping too.

Dripping down the street. Along with the rain.

I silently watched it.

But it disappeared into the sewers and I looked back to my dead lover.

I closed his dead, clouded eyes, and I picked him up into my arms.

My hands and arms were stained with his blood.

My lover's blood.

It hurt when I thought about Luffy, when I looked at him in the face.

When the ambulance took his body, I didn't even bother to move.

I just sat in the rain, in the middle of the road, frozen.

The police, the doctors, even the driver who did this, tried to make me get up, but I didn't, because I was playing this incident over and over in my head.

Every single second of it, and I think I was going insane.

I looked at my hand, which was covered with blood, and I watched the rain streaking down my palm, making little lines between the blood.

I laughed, because for some reason it seemed funny and bubbly.

The doctors looked at me strangely, but I didn't care. I didn't care about anything anymore.

I just killed the one person I really loved in this world. How was I supposed to react?

I didn't know.

I guess I was pretty messed up, because the doctors pulled me to the ambulance, despite my shrieking protest, and they had to perform mental therapy on me for weeks.

When weeks passed, the day of Luffy's funeral came.

They said I shouldn't go to Luffy's funeral, but I begged them to let me go.

And they did.

For some reason, it was raining again on his funeral day.

He had always hated rainy days. And I did too.

It was sad that his death day and funeral day were both on rainy days.

During the funeral, I stood there, wearing a black suit.

Guards surrounded me in case I started hurting someone.

And once I almost did, after hearing someone bad mouth Luffy during the funeral.

But the guards held me back, and I was suddenly glad they were there. I would have killed more people, and would've been sent to jail if they weren't there.

I heard some people cry for Luffy, but I knew they were faking it.

They were despicable.

.

.

.

After the funeral, It was back to mental therapy, and the doctors said I'm improving.

I don't think I was.

I almost killed the doctors 3 times, and the number of guards had increased.

When my girlfriend called me to see if I was alright. I almost screamed at her, but I composed myself, because I knew it was not really her fault, but it was hard because she kept bad-mouthing Luffy.

The next time I saw her I decided that I would break-up with her.

I'm sure she didn't want to go out with someone mentally unstable anyway.

.

.

.

My life started to improve, when I was no longer living alone. I got "adopted" by a rich man named Edward Newgate.

I hated him at first. In fact I tried to kill him a million of times.

Then he called me his son, and I felt warm inside.

I had family...finally.

Then I told him about how my parents were criminals.

He said he didn't care, and I felt myself liking him more and more.

He was so strong, proud, and caring.

Like a father was suppose to be,

I almost forgot the pain I felt earlier on in my life.

Almost.

Luffy's death was only a month ago. I couldn't recover that fast.

Then I met Marco, Juzo, Haruka, Vista, Izo...everyone in that household.

They were all like brothers, not as good as Luffy, but they were still wonderful to be with.

Then I thought, Maybe I could move on.

But then maybe I couldn't...only time would really tell.

* * *

Haha...that's it...I made it end really weirdly, but I'm tired...so I'm just gonna stop writing...Sorry if it's too angsty...which it probably is.

...Ace is stupid...:D But I still love him.


End file.
